God's Roadblocks and His Plan

Today I decided to go for a hike even though no one wanted to go with me. I think it was one of the best decisions I have made this week. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I got to pet a beautiful dog, making me miss my puppy even more. The forest was wonderfully quiet and peaceful that it let me think and talk to God. I am amazed by the beauty he creates everyday. The way the sun shines through the trees onto a lonely bridge is breathtaking and could only be created by someone as powerful as God. I started to think about how God had meant for me to be hiking by myself. He meant for me to find a perfect little bench where I can study. He meant for me to feel in touch with nature and at peace. This lead to me thinking about times when God purposely did things that went against my plan. How upset I could get about my plans not working out exactly how I planned them. This is so silly considering God is the only one who really has a plan for my life. I must make him laugh daily with my plans. I remember last year about a couple months into school I had chosen the tattoo I wanted. I was so upset and irritated that things kept coming up not allowing me to be able to get my tattoo. Now I think about it and I would have totally regretted getting it. I think now that what I wanted to get permanently on my body was unrealistic and not something I would love ten years down the road. God kept putting up road blocks so I wouldn't make the mistake of getting that tattoo. Don't get me wrong I want one, but now I trust that when I have the right one He will let it happen. It's funny how much God stops us from doing the wrong thing or make a mistake and we are angry that we were stopped. We have to remember He has a plan for each of ours lives and we have no idea what's in store for us. It is a reminder I know I personally could use quite often.

Beautiful.

Only 4% of women in the world see themselves as beautiful. FOUR. How sad is that? Lately the topics of weight, clothing and beauty have been on my mind. In the past weeks I have seen and talked to women in my life about these topics. Whether they come right out and say it or imply it, it comes across that they don't see how truly beautiful they are. Now, yes I may be biased but trust me they are beautiful.

Being a young women with a bit of extra weight can be hard. Heck, being a women can be hard. Lately I have realized just how lucky I am for the personal view I have. I have seen a beautiful women wear layers of clothing on a hot day because she doesn't feel pretty in shorts and a t-shirt. That for me is hard to understand, I have always dressed for weather first. If I want to wear shorts, I wear them. I have seen another beautiful women not see how perfect her figure is. Women have so many people telling them how they have to look. The idea of how you should dress stops you from how you want to dress. I have been told that my shirt that shows off some of my stomach is too small. I have been told that I shouldn't wear a bikini because I have extra weight. I have been told so many things about how I look and dress. Oddly enough I don't care. I wear what I feel pretty and comfortable in. I dress for me and no one else. People may not like how I dress or think its right but it's not their body, it's mine.

I will admit it, yes I want to lose some weight. Is it so I can be skinny and beautiful? No, I AM beautiful. Is it so I can fit in my clothes better? Yes. Is it because I want to be healthier? Yeah it is. I want to be able to do whatever life brings me. Some people think they should lose weight to be someone else's idea of beautiful or acceptable. Some people say they will dress how they want when they lose some weight, No matter how much weight you lose, you will always find something wrong with yourself. You have to learn to love yourself no matter what. Don't ever lose weight for someone else, don't ever change you for someone else. Do it for you.

The women in my life are beautiful. I don't think they see themselves how I see them; I really wish they did. It is hard to describe just how beautiful they are, but i'll try, My grandmother has the gentlest heart, loving eyes and the most infectious laugh. She is so beautiful. My cousin has the best humor and is so young at heart. Her just being in the same room as me makes me instantly happier. The look she gets when she looks at her husband is amazing. You can tell how much love she has in her heart. She is so very beautiful. And my mom, my favourite person in the whole world. She is so beautiful. She is drop dead gorgeous! She has the biggest heart I know and the best smile. When she is having fun, she is just so beautiful.

As you can tell beauty is more than just skin deep. It comes from within. Women are most beautiful when they are being themselves with people they love. So wear what you want and be who you are. Women have so many people telling them who they should be and what they should look like. Not everyone will find you beautiful, but I promise you someone will. So wear whatever you want. Lose weight for you, if you want to. You only have this one life, why spend it being how others want you to be and not how you want to be. Don't wait for someone else to tell you you're beautiful; wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself. And if others don't like it, screw 'em. You do you boo, you do you!

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Okay so I have no idea why I want to spend my Friday night writing, after I just spent 10 hours researching and writing a paper. (Which is DONE!!) Yet, here I am sitting in bed, typing. It might be because I finished my paper, finished my workout and feel on top of the world. But hey I say when you feel like writing, write.

This may be because I have just spent 10 hours researching and writing about women's rights and why men should get involved in gender equality. But it is still very true....

Women are amazing, magical creatures!

Okay all you men out there don't think I'm forgetting about how undeniably awesome you are but you got to admit women are AMAZING. I honestly do not believe women are better than men. I truly believe men are amazing magical creatures too. Like the sixteen year old young man in Kenya who started a whole campaign when he noticed the number of girls in his class decreasing. His campaign is called ‘Keeping Girls in School’. When talking to his female classmates he discovered that they were missing school due to their periods. The young women were unable to afford sanitary towels and were embarrassed to attend school without them. The young women missed great amounts of school, and fell behind in class. This eventually resulting in them dropping out. ‘Keeping Girls in School’ raises money to provide free sanitary towels to young women so they don’t miss school. Within one month of providing towels, the girl’s grades were increasing significantly and in some cases surpassing their male classmates. Now isn't that an amazing young man! A marine competing in a race, came in last to help a young boy who got separated from his group. A young boy probably around 12-13 catches the ball during a baseball game and is extremely excited. He runs to show his friends and dad. Than he stops when he see a younger boy who was trying to catch the ball too looking really disappointed. The younger boy was simply to little to compete with the older boys trying to catch the ball. The boy who caught the ball quickly left his friends and dad to go and hand the ball to the little boy, leaving the biggest smile on the young boy's face. Really you don't have to go far to find a story of an amazing man. 

Now, onto those magical creatures I mentioned before...

Women are absolutely amazing, just stop and think about it for a second they are amazing. Women can make a CHILD and carry them for 9 months and GIVE BIRTH. Already women are amazing. Women can tell their best friend how much they love and appreciate them and act all relationshippy without it being weird. (yes i'm talking about you Kay) Women can toss on a dress and look fancy in seconds! Women can multitask like it's nobody's business. Women's intuition.   There are so many wonderful amazing things about women, and so many amazing women out there. So let's give out a few "You go girl"s to some amazing wonderful women who enforce that females are in fact majestic creatures. 

Malala Yousafzai : Seventeen year old who was kidnapped while on a school bus, got shot in the head and lived. Not only did she live she spoke out. She talked about the importance of feminism and education. She is the youngest person to ever win the Noble Peace prize. When she was asked what she would do next she said study for her chemistry test because school doesn't stop for Noble Peace prizes.   YOU GO GIRL!
Queen Elizabeth: Well first she is a QUEEN! Second she handles herself with such grace. She is amazing. She is also the longest serving monarch!(she must be pushing 100 soon, but still looks great!) YOU GO QUEENY!
Sarah Reilly: My freakin' awesome cousin who flawlessly takes care of her three year old and one year old twins. If you have ever watched her take them into a store or anyplace for that fact, it is truly amazing! YOU GO GIRL!
Hillary Clinton: While I may not agree with everything she stands for, I do applaud her. She decided when she was little she wanted to be in government and when someone told her women couldn't she said 'watch me'. She deals with people criticizing her outfits and personal life in ways they never would the male candidates. YOU GO GIRL!
Ellen DeGeneres: She is so caring and funny. She gives to people that truly deserve it and need it. She has an extremely long running successful talk show. She helps out with animal shelters! YOU GO ELLEN!!
Michelle Obama: She is trying to make America and healthier, better place to live. And she looks flawless while doing it! She also went to both Princeton and Harvard. She is not just the president's wife. She is also super witty, which I love. YOU GO MRS. OBAMA!
J.K. Rolling: She wrote one of the most well known series. She wrote her first book as a struggling single mother trying to make ends meet and now has a whole series of movies and books. She also created Ron Weasley, and the twins who I personally love! YOU GO GIRL!
Miss Sherri: If you do not know Miss Sherri, she is a super sweet lady up the road from my house. She has done so much for her church community and is such a sweet, caring lady. She is super special! YOU GO MISS SHERRI!!!
Tamera Mowry-Housley: Not only did she stay completely grounded throughout her whole career as a child star, she made a name for herself. She is a caring mother and christian. She has overcome insecurities and is a very well rounded person. YOU GO GIRL!!
Beyonce: Queen Bey. She speaks out for gender equality, race equality and so much more. She is active participant in the government. She is a role model for many young girls. She is a strong independent woman. She has a sense of bad-ass-ry while still being classy. She does not need to bring other women (or men) down to build herself up. YOU GO QUEEN BEY!

There are so many more I could go on and on about. My gramma that raised three kids and helped start a business. My mom who dropped everything to help the family business and juggled owning her own business and raising kids. My aunt who inspires me to be creative and kind. My other aunt that shows me fun does not stop because you age. My other other aunt who showed me you can start over and be happy. My cousin who is caring for people and still can be a big kid. My friend who showed me to stick with something you love, even if you have to sit on the bench for a while. The lady at the grocery store who is always in a good mood and remembers so many customer's names. I could go on and on because I know so many wonderful, inspiring women but it's almost 1am and I am super tired.

All of these women are women who should be applauded. These women are extremely inspiring for a young lady like myself. I like living in a world knowing that power, independent, strong women are surrounding me. So any time you think you can't do something or don't want to get out of bed, remember you are amazing. You are woman, hear you roar! 

2014 in the rear view...

IT IS NOW JANUARY 2015. I AM 18 YEARS OLD. SITTING IN MY BED IN MY DORM ROOM. ONE YEAR AGO TODAY WOULD I THINK I WOULD BE HERE? DOING THIS? HAVE I ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING IN 2014 THAT I WANTED TO?DID I LIKE THE WAY 2014 PLAYED OUT? 

Before coming back to school I went through my old notebooks, before packing my new ones (which I love and are suppper pretty, by the way). I looked back to the first thing written in my favourite one. I wrote in it on the first of January of 2014. I was writing about how I spent New Years alone, sick in bed just as I had many New Years before.I wasn't sad per say, I just hated that New Years had become so unnoteworthy. (I do remember one year I was sick, but my parents had made me pizza pockets and had got me the new season of bones, and I was perfectly happy bringing in the new year that way.) As I sat there reading my old notebook, I realized how much had happened in 2014. How even though New Years had been unnoteworthy, 2014 was not. 2014 brought many new exciting scary things. So many things changed in one year. My one cousin made a commitment for life to another person. I moved to Orillia. A lot has happened in 12 months. So this post will be an overview of 2014. The ups and downs. 

• I was officially a supervisor at Shoppers
• I was Student Council President
• I represent my school at senate
• I freaked out about school and had to be talked down by my wonderful brother
• I FINALLY picked a university... one I wouldn't have even visited
  
  
  without the loving push from my grampie.
• I became captain of my rugby team and won the coaches award (something grade 9 Shania would have never thought would happen)
• I was hurt the worse I've ever been hurt by some people who were really close to me
• I realized who truly mattered in my life to me
• I  fought for and planned the first ever Senior Week in history at TISS
• I went to prom, and felt beautiful

• I went to my first ever field party involving drinking
• I took care of my very inebriated friends for the first (but probably not last)time
• I pushed and punched two people in one night to protect my friends
• I graduated and won multiple amazing awards
• I watched two of my favourite people in the world tie the knot

• I was a bridesmaid with one of my best friends and once again felt absolutely beautiful
• I drove to Orillia all by myself
• I got lost.. and found my way by my self (only like two..maybe three phone calls to daddy)
• I saw Blake Shelton in concert with some of my favourites(courtesy of my brother)

• I made the big move to Orillia, up and down 7 floors of stairs
• I started university
• I met some wonderful friends
• I learned to dance from my grampie at the plowing match
• I ate so much yummy applesauce
• I missed my family and friends more than they know
• I was told hurtful things but a bad person
• Once again I was reminded of who truly mattered in my life, and how much I love those people
• I got my paper put in a media show
• I did great in all my classes and finished my first semester of university
• Of course I made some funny faces, laughed a lot and had some fun.
• I forgave and reconnected with a lost friend
• I watched my aunt ring the bell after her last round of chemo (go auntie B)

AND MOST IMPORTANT.... 

I convinced my gramma to surrender to the life and love of red plaid.

So overall 2014 was a great year. Thank you all the people that made it great. Yall know who you are, and I love you guys! HAPPY 2015!! Lets make even better!!

The men in my life...

So I've discovered something while here at school. University is not only a place for learning it's a place where people are obsessed with dating. When you talk to someone from home the typical questions are always asked:

• Do you like your roommate?
• Do you like the school?
• What classes are you liking?
• What do you do in your spare time?
• How's school going?
• Met any cute boys up there?

The last one always sneaks in. Now don't get me wrong it is a valid and important question. As a girl who has never been on a date or had a boyfriend, it's a question I get a lot. So sometimes when you're 18 and still have never been asked out you start to wonder.. why? Usually you think the right guy hasn't come along yet. Or I just haven't found my cowboy yet. But occasionally when you're down in the dumps you have those moments where you wonder, is there something wrong with me? Are my standards too high? 

BUT WAIT!

YOU ALREADY HAVE AT  MEN IN YOUR LIFE WHO LOVE YOU EXACTLY FOR WHO YOU ARE SILLY GIRL!

These men look at you like you're perfectly unique and wonderful everyday. These men still love you even when you mess up and get the sander stuck up against a building. These men raised you to be the woman you are becoming. These men will always be there for you. These are my men. 

These are the men who picked me up when I scraped my knee. These are the men who taught me to skate, ski, and drive. These are the men who dug through garbage to find me that necklace that I loved. These are the men who I  could cuddle with when I had bad dreams. These men made me laugh when I wanted to cry. These are the men who took me fishing, camping, boating, four wheeling, shopping, basically anywhere I wanted to go. These are the men who would watch me dance around the living room for hours. These are the men who would help me with my science projects on pulleys. These are the men who came to my baseball and rugby game, my plays, my gems Sundays, everything I wanted them there for. These are the men who I had Friday lunch dates with during the summer.These are the men who would play duck duck goose with me every new years. These men always make me feel safe. These are the men who taught me to dance. These are the men who could never stay mad at me, who would fix all my mess ups. These men make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. These men, my men, are the best men I know. They are the reason I know I will find a guy who will love me for me. They are the reason I want to find a man who will marry me and love our children the way I am loved. These men are superheros. 

So thank you to all of the men in my life. 

Think before you speak.

Maya Angelou once said 

"At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

That statement is very true.


Today as I sat in the cafeteria with some people from my floor, I had something said to me that hurt my feelings. I don't think it was said to be mean or anything but it was hurtful. Now don't get me wrong I have been picked on a lot over my elementary and high school years, but this was different. It came from someone I was starting to look up to. Someone who I wanted to like me. As I said before, I know this person didn't mean to say something hurtful but they did. I was told that I wasn't pretty enough or the right kind of pretty to be in the schools sorority.  Not once did I ever want to be in one but to be told I'm not pretty enough to be in one is just plain hurtful.  When I saw the movie Sydney White I 100% wanted to live with the nerds and not the sorority girls... Nerds for Life!! I think this person thought it was alright to tell me that because they as well got passed on for the sorority. But it's not okay, and it will never be okay to tell someone else they are not pretty. I started to wonder how insecure this person must be in their own skin to want to make me feel bad about myself. Luckily I have been brought up by some kick-ass people who taught me to believe in myself, no matter what. That God made me, therefore I am beautiful. I will never be able to thank my family enough for instilling these ways of thinking in me. In some ways I am glad this person said it to me, and not someone else. I am not one to care what others think of my appearance, but someone without that security in themselves could be crushed by this. Later tonight this person and a group of us were talking, the topic of going to clubs came up. Someone mentioned how girls bring the 'ugly friend' along to make themselves look better. THIS bothered me so much. How dare you call yourself someone's friend if you refer to them as ugly. NO. Real friends see you as the beautiful person you are. Anyways so the question asked was would you rather be the one bring the 'ugly friend' or be the 'ugly friend'. Everyone answered, including this person, the one bring the 'ugly friend'. My answer seemed to annoy this person. My answer was: I would rather be the 'ugly one'. That way I am not the kind of person who calls their friends ugly. I would not be the person who is so friggen insecure that they have to put someone who is beautiful inside and out down. GOD MADE US. WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. WE ARE A CREATION OF HIS.  It's safe to say that my relationship and opinion of this person has been changed. 

This instance opened my eyes tonight. Not everyone is loving. Not everyone wants to be nice. Some people will try to bring you down to make themselves feel better. Not everyone was raised the way I was. Not everyone stays up at night worrying about how others have felt because of something I may have said. I watch what I say for that exact reason. How bad would I feel if I said something hurtful and that person was at the end of their line and what I said just pushed them. No. Words Matter. Choose them carefully.

On a happier note: My friend Kay must of had a feeling because right at the moment that I was told this, she sent me the cutest picture note and made the biggest smile come on my face. I love you so much Kay, you are the best friend a girl could as for. Thank you for everything!
Another happier note: I told my friend Maddy what had happened with said person and a couple hours later when I went to her room to return a sweater, she had made me a card. The card said the sweetest things and I can not thank her enough for it.

God gives you only what you can handle and he blesses you with friends that help you handle it. So thank you God for blessing my life with the people in it. And I pray for said person, I pray you find Christ again.

In the end I will forget what was said, what was done. But I will always remember how these people made me feel.

Who I Want to Be Like...

   Ever since I was born people always talked about what I would be, who I would be. When your little the generic answers are said, 'She's beautiful, she'll break a few hearts', 'She's brilliant, she'll change the world', she's this or that. My aunt once said something that filled my heart with happiness (you know like in the Grinch when his heart grows, that's basically what it felt like). My aunt said to me, "I hope Hannah (her granddaughter) is like Shania when she grows up" than she proceed to say wonderfully nice things about me. I never felt better about the person I've become than right in that moment. To know that she thought I was a good enough person that she wanted her pride and joy to be like me was heartwarming. So it got me thinking who do I want my future (and I MEAN WAYY FUTURE) children to be like? 
 When I started thinking about this question I started thinking about who I want to be like. Who when I was little I looked up to and wanted to be just like them. Who I still want to be like. The obvious answers come up...

• I want to have a heart as big as my moms
• I want my children to work as hard as my parents 
• I want to have a love like my grandparents and my parents
• I want my children to be strong and caring like my dad and uncle Rudy
• I want to protect and care for my children like my parents
• I want to be chill and calm like my dad
• I want to be well versed like my auntie b
• I want to be adventurous like my uncle Dave and aunt Kim
• I want to be creative and young like my aunt Wanda and my mom
• I want my children to grow up knowing as much love as I know

I want to be like a lot of people in my life. Ever since I was little I tried to be like them. I would copy my mom's saying and repeat them to my brother matter-o-factually (yes this did drive him insane). I would act just like my cousins (cause lets admit it I wanted to be Kristy so bad, she just seems so cool)( oh and don't forget me attempting to copy my crazy cousin Sarah's chocolate milk dance). But one person in my life has always been someone I want to be like. Someone I look up to. Someone I admire more than anything. Someone who I am so proud of. Someone who's opinion means the world to me. 

My Big Brother Johnny.

     Anyone who has met my brother probably knows why I look up to him and want to be like him so much. I wanted to be like him right from the start, I had a funny moment involving the pee tree, I wanted to be around him and his friends, I always made sure to tell people Johnny Van Dusen is MY brother. Now I know we probably weren't considered best friends when we were younger or maybe even now but we have a relationship that I won't ever have with anybody else. He is my big brother. He has made me cry, laugh, relax, stress, think, angry, happy and every emotion in between. He says I'm too loud, annoying, bossy and so many other things. But through everything he is always my and only my big brother. 

    He has influenced so many aspects of my life. He is the reason I found a sport that I love, he gave me the courage to try out. He is the reason I not too full of myself. He is the reason I love who I am so much, he may have wanted me to be more normal for a while there but ultimately he accepts me for me. He taught me millions of things and he was there for every part of my life. The ups and downs. He talked me through graduating,exams and high school freak outs. My brother has amazing qualities. He is funny (and I mean REALLY funny), he is super caring (SUPER), he is brilliant (he may not think he is but he is), he is extremely talented, he is so many things and I could go on forever. Anytime I don't know what to do in my life, I honestly think about how Johnny would handle this. He always handles things so much better than me. Johnny can seem tough and cool (in my mind he is one of the coolest people I know, I used to brag about him being my brother in high school) but he has a huge heart and just cares so much. He is willing to drive an extra 45 minutes to get me to take me home when I am homesick. He has texted me pretty much everyday since I got here to make sure I'm ok. He is the best big brother a girl could ask for. I never realized how much I talk about my brother until I started university. Apparently without even thinking I talk about him a lot. 

    I don't know if my brother knows just how proud I am of him. He is going to school away from all our family, where he knows no one and doing FREAKING amazing. He will graduate this coming year and I just know he will accomplish so much. Even if he chooses to switch fields or something, no matter what he does he will be amazing at it. He has found himself a girlfriend who is an absolute sweetheart (and who I am crazy about). He seriously has found a keeper, I just love her so much! He is amazing at any sport he tries (I am SUPER jealous of this). He is just a genuinely good person. He is 100% one of my favourite people in the world. I hope he knows just how much I love him and am proud of him. I may not always say it, I may put my foot in my mouth and hurt him, but I really don't ever mean it.  

So to end this all, who do I want to be like? Who do I want my children to be like? It's a plain and simple answer. If my children are anything like my brother I will count myself blessed.