Who I Want to Be Like...

   Ever since I was born people always talked about what I would be, who I would be. When your little the generic answers are said, 'She's beautiful, she'll break a few hearts', 'She's brilliant, she'll change the world', she's this or that. My aunt once said something that filled my heart with happiness (you know like in the Grinch when his heart grows, that's basically what it felt like). My aunt said to me, "I hope Hannah (her granddaughter) is like Shania when she grows up" than she proceed to say wonderfully nice things about me. I never felt better about the person I've become than right in that moment. To know that she thought I was a good enough person that she wanted her pride and joy to be like me was heartwarming. So it got me thinking who do I want my future (and I MEAN WAYY FUTURE) children to be like? 
 When I started thinking about this question I started thinking about who I want to be like. Who when I was little I looked up to and wanted to be just like them. Who I still want to be like. The obvious answers come up...

• I want to have a heart as big as my moms
• I want my children to work as hard as my parents 
• I want to have a love like my grandparents and my parents
• I want my children to be strong and caring like my dad and uncle Rudy
• I want to protect and care for my children like my parents
• I want to be chill and calm like my dad
• I want to be well versed like my auntie b
• I want to be adventurous like my uncle Dave and aunt Kim
• I want to be creative and young like my aunt Wanda and my mom
• I want my children to grow up knowing as much love as I know

I want to be like a lot of people in my life. Ever since I was little I tried to be like them. I would copy my mom's saying and repeat them to my brother matter-o-factually (yes this did drive him insane). I would act just like my cousins (cause lets admit it I wanted to be Kristy so bad, she just seems so cool)( oh and don't forget me attempting to copy my crazy cousin Sarah's chocolate milk dance). But one person in my life has always been someone I want to be like. Someone I look up to. Someone I admire more than anything. Someone who I am so proud of. Someone who's opinion means the world to me. 

My Big Brother Johnny.

     Anyone who has met my brother probably knows why I look up to him and want to be like him so much. I wanted to be like him right from the start, I had a funny moment involving the pee tree, I wanted to be around him and his friends, I always made sure to tell people Johnny Van Dusen is MY brother. Now I know we probably weren't considered best friends when we were younger or maybe even now but we have a relationship that I won't ever have with anybody else. He is my big brother. He has made me cry, laugh, relax, stress, think, angry, happy and every emotion in between. He says I'm too loud, annoying, bossy and so many other things. But through everything he is always my and only my big brother. 

    He has influenced so many aspects of my life. He is the reason I found a sport that I love, he gave me the courage to try out. He is the reason I not too full of myself. He is the reason I love who I am so much, he may have wanted me to be more normal for a while there but ultimately he accepts me for me. He taught me millions of things and he was there for every part of my life. The ups and downs. He talked me through graduating,exams and high school freak outs. My brother has amazing qualities. He is funny (and I mean REALLY funny), he is super caring (SUPER), he is brilliant (he may not think he is but he is), he is extremely talented, he is so many things and I could go on forever. Anytime I don't know what to do in my life, I honestly think about how Johnny would handle this. He always handles things so much better than me. Johnny can seem tough and cool (in my mind he is one of the coolest people I know, I used to brag about him being my brother in high school) but he has a huge heart and just cares so much. He is willing to drive an extra 45 minutes to get me to take me home when I am homesick. He has texted me pretty much everyday since I got here to make sure I'm ok. He is the best big brother a girl could ask for. I never realized how much I talk about my brother until I started university. Apparently without even thinking I talk about him a lot. 

    I don't know if my brother knows just how proud I am of him. He is going to school away from all our family, where he knows no one and doing FREAKING amazing. He will graduate this coming year and I just know he will accomplish so much. Even if he chooses to switch fields or something, no matter what he does he will be amazing at it. He has found himself a girlfriend who is an absolute sweetheart (and who I am crazy about). He seriously has found a keeper, I just love her so much! He is amazing at any sport he tries (I am SUPER jealous of this). He is just a genuinely good person. He is 100% one of my favourite people in the world. I hope he knows just how much I love him and am proud of him. I may not always say it, I may put my foot in my mouth and hurt him, but I really don't ever mean it.  

So to end this all, who do I want to be like? Who do I want my children to be like? It's a plain and simple answer. If my children are anything like my brother I will count myself blessed.